THERAPY FOR ADULTS WITH ADHD
Being an adult with ADHD can be extremely challenging. Most adults have found coping mechanisms throughout their lives to manage their symptoms yet still undergo a daily struggle to handle the chaos and disorganization that can sometimes accompany adult ADHD. Many of these adults have the coping mechanisms yet lack the proper tools to live a happy and balanced life. When I work with adults with ADHD many have gone undiagnosed, untreated or are in denial of the impact that ADHD can be having in their adult lives. Adult ADHD is similar yet not identical to ADHD that is seen in childhood. In adults, the symptoms that tend to be seen are:
- Hyperactivity tends to disappear and be replaced by fidgetiness or a difficulty engaging in activities quietly.
- Hyperactivity is exhibited through stimulating jobs, working long hours, or seeking constant activity even after work.
- Inability to focus and impulsivity.
- Easily distracted while concentrating or working.
- Forgetfulness tends to subside and is replaced by procrastination.
- Chronically disorganized.
- Difficulty being present in relationships.
- Difficulty initiating and following through on projects, being punctual for deadlines and work schedules and behaving cordially with fellow workers.
- Difficulty with time management.
- Poor management of finances.
- Loosing the temper easily.
- Loosing track of priorities.
- Overspending, overconsumption of cigarettes, alcohol and excessive video gaming.
- Look for instant gratification instead of working towards larger and more sustaining goals. Can also been seen in yielding quickly to temptation that might have negative repercussions.
- Show difficulty speaking before they think.
- Fail to change a strategy even after it’s been shown ineffective or inappropriate.
- Difficulty with empathy for others.
- Self-medicating through the use of stimulants to feel more focused and energetic, and alcohol/marijuana to settle the inner restlessness.
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Being a spouse or in a relationship with someone with ADHD can be exceptionally challenging. If you do not seek help for yourself, please consider getting assistance working with your symptoms for the benefit of you friends and loved ones. Gina Pera in her book "Is it You, Me or Adult ADHD," provides a detailed understanding of some of the pitfalls that partners of people with ADHD face: |
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"Many ADHD traits can put a whammy on relationships…
Within the relationship can be instability. Partners with ADHD are being tough to please and seldom satisfied. They frequently sees the negative in any situation, have an intense need to be right, perceives compromise as giving in, have low self observation and ability to link cause with effect, often forgets past favors and accommodations from you. There can be an uncooperative rigidity in thinking patterns. They can also express a low expression of empathy for other.
Making transitions is a challenge for adults with ADHD. Shifting focus from work to home, work to fun, or work to chores can be challenging. To summon the adrenaline necessary to meet that challenge, some subconsciously pick a fight. Conflict becomes medication. This apparent desire to be angry, and to provoke an angry response in others, can result from the ADHD partner’s biologically based need for stimulation. Fighting can actually make some people feel calmer. It shows up as oppositional behavior…disagreeing with whatever the other person says.
Partners report that nothing is ever about them…if I had a bad day; the ADHD partner had a worse day. ADHD partners will provoke mild mannered people into screaming. The adrenaline fuels the frontal lobes, which helps them to think clearer."
Within the relationship can be instability. Partners with ADHD are being tough to please and seldom satisfied. They frequently sees the negative in any situation, have an intense need to be right, perceives compromise as giving in, have low self observation and ability to link cause with effect, often forgets past favors and accommodations from you. There can be an uncooperative rigidity in thinking patterns. They can also express a low expression of empathy for other.
Making transitions is a challenge for adults with ADHD. Shifting focus from work to home, work to fun, or work to chores can be challenging. To summon the adrenaline necessary to meet that challenge, some subconsciously pick a fight. Conflict becomes medication. This apparent desire to be angry, and to provoke an angry response in others, can result from the ADHD partner’s biologically based need for stimulation. Fighting can actually make some people feel calmer. It shows up as oppositional behavior…disagreeing with whatever the other person says.
Partners report that nothing is ever about them…if I had a bad day; the ADHD partner had a worse day. ADHD partners will provoke mild mannered people into screaming. The adrenaline fuels the frontal lobes, which helps them to think clearer."
